Growing Gratitude

There has been significant research into gratitude and the positive mental health impact it has. Engaging in a gratitude practice can be an effective and helpful thing to add to your routine. However, we often confused gratitude with toxic positivity, which has a significantly worse impact on mental health. Toxic positivity can end up making you feel more stuck. Let's dive into the differences.

Have you ever complained about something to someone, only for them to come back and tell you, "Well, look at all the good sides of this situation!" or "Yeah, but what about all the things you have to be grateful for?" This is toxic positivity- an unending urge to find a silver lining or a bright side in a situation. And, while it does not help to dwell on the dark parts of things for too long, it can feel invalidating to dismiss the challenges too quickly. Sometimes things just suck. Being able to sit in the suck will actually allow you to move through it more quickly than fighting against it. If you paint over a hole in the wall, it may look okay at first blush and there is still very obviously a hole there. This is what toxic positivity is like. It may make you feel a little better by ignoring the problem, but the problem is still there and no amount of positivity will wish it away. Sometimes there is not a bright side to a situation, and that is okay. Not everything has to have a positive to it.

We live in a society that pushes toxic positivity. We are constantly urged to look on the bright side. On many levels, this urge makes sense when you consider the larger existential dread of human existance. However, on a day to day basis, you would be more benefitted from allowing yourself to feel your emotions and practicing gratitude.

Gratitude is being thankful. Gratitude feels like an AND as opposed to a but. Toxic positivity is "This sucks BUT look what you have to be thankful for" while gratitude if "This sucks AND I am grateful for a warm bed to crawl into at the end of the day."

Building up a gratitude practice can be easy. It is a form of mindfulness, as it forces you to slow down and check in with how you are feeling. Gratitude can be big, like I am grateful for the people in my life, or it can be small, like I am grateful for the excellent cup of coffee I had this morning. One way I've enjoyed practicing gratitude is writing one thing a day I am thankful for on piece of paper and putting it in a jar. At the end of the year, I open the jar and read all of the things inside. If you don't want something that involved, journaling can be just as good.

Gratitude can be great for your mental health, and make sure next time you are truly practicing gratitude and not positivity washing something challenging.

I am grateful for spring at my local park