Misused Mental Health Words

Mental health words have been incorrectly sneaking into our everyday conversation for years. Things like using mental health diagnoses as adjectives to describe unrelated things (ex: describing the weather as "bipolar") or misusing/misconstruing diagnoses (ex: saying you’re “OCD” when you like things to be tidy) are so common that if you scroll through social media for a few minutes, you will surely run into at least one of these (or is my algorithm just plotting against me?). 

While there are some positives to mental health stigma decreasing and psych words being thrown into casual conversation, there is also some damage in using these words wrong. Taking terms that describe serious things and using them flippantly takes away the importance of these words for people who experience them. It can make it less believable or lessen the impacts these conditions/experiences cause when people overuse them. Sometimes people claim these things are happening and it pushes others away, whether or not that is the intention. Have you ever come across someone reporting to be "protecting their peace" and calling out a loved one for trauma dumping, when in reality they are actually blocking vulnerability necessary for a relationship?

Here are some of the more common offenders, with what they actually mean.

Gaslight

Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic used in abuse. It is when person A tries to make person B doubt their reality. Person B often has the experience of feeling disoriented as a result. The goal is to give the power back to person A, make person B doubt themselves and their emotions, and allow person A to manipulate the situation in their favor.

For example:

B- You really hurt me when you did that.

A- I never did that. You're making that up.

B- What? But I remember it happening.

A- That never happened, and you're being dramatic. 

It gets misused as a stand in for lied, but gaslighting is way more than a lie. It is manipulation and abuse.

Trauma Dump

A trauma dump is when you express emotionally challenging and vulnerable experiences or trauma to someone without their consent or without a pre-existing relationship. Once I was on an elevator with a stranger who told me about how she watched her partner die. We had never met before and had not been having a conversation. This is a trauma dump. On the flip side, if you have a relationship with a person and want to share your thoughts and feelings, this is not a trauma dump. It is appropriate and necessary to be vulnerable in all kinds of relationships. This phrase gets misused as a way to stop others from sharing by claiming they are "trauma dumping" on someone else and to stop; however, this also restricts sharing in relationships which is necessary for them to grow.

Boundaries

A boundary is something put into place to continue a relationship, not end it. Boundaries should be around your own behaviors, not trying to control the behaviors of others. For example, an effective boundary would be "If you keep showing up late and making me wait, I will just leave" versus an ineffective boundary of "You need to stop this." The effective boundary is explaining what you will do, and we can only control our own self and behavior. Sometimes boundaries end relationships, though they are typically meant to allow relationships to continue with healthier guidelines. Boundaries can be referred back to when trying to change how things are going.

This word tends to get thrown around as a way to justify ghosting or disappearing on people.

Final Thoughts

Knowledge is power, so now that you know the correct use of these terms, perhaps you too will see these misuses everywhere. Any that surprised you? Any that I missed? Comment down below!