The Myth of Adult Friendship

When is the last time you heard someone say, “It’s impossible to make friends as an adult?" Or maybe, when is the last time you said something like that yourself? This myth runs rampant in our culture, and it creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. Believing in it decreases motivation to try and make friends, leading to an increase in our already present loneliness epidemic.

As a kid, friendships are "easy" to make because you are constantly surrounded by people. You don't need to seek people out- friends basically come to you. You're bonded by shared playground games and hatred of homework. You likely became friends with people based on their proximity to you, whether it was the neighbors you played pick up soccer with or your classmates in homeroom.

As an adult, things get more complicated. Your life is significantly busier- work, hobbies, maybe a partner, maybe kids. Gone are the days of being surrounded by your peers 5 days a week for 8 hours. You fall into a routine and are likely are not meeting new people regularly. This is especially true if you work from home and don't interact with your coworkers in person.

This means making friends as an adult requires intentionally seeking out people to befriend. Friends won't drop into the seat next to you in 3rd period English. Now, you need to put yourself out there, similar to how you would if you were dating.

There are also beliefs that hold people back from making friends, such as friendships should happen naturally or that it's too late to make great friendships.

It is not impossible to make friends as an adult- it just requires effort.

Okay, now that we’ve cleared the myths out of the way, let’s get into the actual how to of making friends. We will dive into that… next month! Check back in November for a how to guide for building friendships as an adult.